Is this life?

You barely start to walk and talk... you're in school... ABCD becomes important... getting a rank becomes must... where is time to play? where is time to enjoy childhood?

At 7th grade you need to get serious... you need to get science... people tell you just 3 more years and you have a great life ahead... money, job, wife, kids and full of fun.

Come to class 11 with science and you know life has just started... get into engg dude else lick your own shoes... its just 2 years dude and then 4 years of fun... 2years of nightmare and then...

Get into engg. and princi tells you 4 years of hard work and life long luxury. The nightmare still continues. You are so fucked up that only thing that comes to your mind is to have sex. Here also get a good percentage else forget top class companies.

Get a job, you're now working... sometimes you feel like a slave... is this why you came to the world? To listen to what others say? To work so that you can earn money... to give 2hrs out of 24hrs to your own self?

Get married... few nights fun and then the real fun begins... after 9 months you get a baby and make him/her pass through the same shit you disliked the most!!!

You're 60, time to retire and now you realise you are free to enjoy but then you realise you are not young enough to booze, weed, one night stand, dance...

Its better to die at 30 after having all the fun than to die at 70 without having any fun!

Awkward mood

I don't know what mood I am in, am I happy? am I sad? am I frustrated? am I desperate? Seems like I am becoming numb. I don't know what to do, which song to here, when to sleep, I am clueless... I ain't getting answers...

Am I happy?
It doesn't seem so. If I were happy I would have feeling of excitement as soon as some good song starts to play. Currently I am listening to Stairway to heaven but I don't seem to have any mood and it really makes me wonder.

Am I sad?
Certainly not. Had I been sad, I would have been listening to many sad songs and would have been enjoying the moments of sadness.

Am I frustrated?
Could well be the case but then if I were frustrated I would have probably be surfing profiles and finding out my seniors. I would probably be listening to songs like "You're beautiful". I am not watching raunchy youtube videos either.

Am I desperate?
I am never desperate and if I were then I would probably be downloading loads of porn.

I am unable to understand which state I am in. All I know is I am missing the aunt next window, my seniors, 2 girls from Kolkata and I have made too many sisters in the virtual world.