I dream a lot so does many others. People say don't just dream, try to live it but then there are some dreams which are very insignificant. Some dreams are just unreal. People might say why waste time in dreaming about such things? Why should one not? What's the harm? Time waste dude time waste! Ahhhh....
I would talk only about myself here. I know for sure I am here to be happy. So, I would do things that make me happy! If wasting time and dreaming does make me happy then why should I stop dreaming? At most what will happen? I will get screwed! But then I know I won't stop dreaming as it is some drug that keeps me alive!
I dream a lot, a lot of weird things, both good and bad things, I get so much lost in them that I forget where I am and what's around me. Yeah, I do lose a lot of time as none of those dreams are actually going to be attempted or achieved by me but at the end of the day, those make me smile, somehow those moments become the best time of the day. Maybe my life is just a dream!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The 'Missing' Trip
WARNING: Its very long!
I was told by my parents to get ready by 1.45 so that we all can leave around 2. I was pretty sure there is no way we will begin the journey by 3. So, I was as usual crapping on net when my father shouted at me and asked me to get ready else all will get late due to me. I said fine, I am getting ready and went off, I was ready by 1.30. I had lunch and around 1.45 I see not even a single species half ready!
Its 2 and I ask my mom, aren't we supposed to get out now and she says- "I am going to beauty parlour, we'll leave at 3". At this point I knew, its going to be 3.30. I came online again to crap more, stayed till 3, crapped around for half an hour roaming in the room and around 3.45 we were off. One thing that struck my mind is damn, I missed the sunset!
We, the three families reached Panchghani around 6.30 and went to Parsi point, every time I go there, I get to see something new and I wasn't disappointed this time also. Hell, I ain't talking about girls, I am talking about nature! This time the colour combinations made by the sun and clouds and the mountains, mesmerising, it was like a dream come true, thing I used to see in dreams were right in front of my eyes!
We could visit only one point as I made all of them late, oh wait, it was the aunts I guess, doing make up and all. After reaching hotel I said that I want to go to market. Last time I visited Mahabaleshwar market was probably in class 4. That time I said to myself- "This is where you should come for honeymoon". Well, things have changed a bit, its more crowded now and the beauty has been hit!
I knew going to market would make me frustrated but I couldn't control myself. I just had to go there, watch couples moving slowly with hand in hand. It hurts! Thank holy devil, there were 3 families, I could spend time alone whenever I wanted to without my parents bugging me! Played a bit in so called casinos, after winning some my father asked me to cash it, I said no, I am going to play will the last coin lasts and yeah, all coins used up! After playing and observing people walk hand in hand and looking at the cute new born kids, the future candidates to make me frustrated, we went back to hotel and had dinner.
Bed time, disaster is that my father booked only 2 rooms as only 2 families were supposed to come, the 3rd family made all the mess, in this season its impossible to get any room in any damn hotel with 10 times the cost! Solution- Extra bed, which is put on the ground and then- I had to sleep with 3 kids with an average age of 10. Call me paedophile, I care a damn! Meanwhile, when I was asking the adults to make noise as we have come for fun, a guy comes from behind and says "We aren't able to sleep, we're a couple so please don't make much noise". I was about t say "Yeah, just say you want to make love so you need to concentrate!" but had to cut that.
After I woke up, mom asked me to take a class 7 girl to the market as she wants to drink and eat something, wow, mom asking me to take a girl to a breakfast date! What the devil, that would make me a paedophile, if sleeping with 3 under age hasn't made me yet! Anyway, the plan was cancelled soon as people were in real hurry!
Now the journey begins, don't know how many points we went to, how many kms we had to walk and how much time I made the most of the cool breeze! One thing that I will remember forever is when I was at Elephant Head. I saw a fog getting formed and rising up, none except me and my father noticed it, when said to rest, they weren't interested! Such is their passion for sight seeing! I waited for it to rise high and at one stage, it became stable. By this time, rest started to leave, my father also started calling me. I said I will wait for some time, you guys start to walk. To my surprise, a part of the fog started to rise and damn, it made shape of heart! I took the picture, I just couldn't believe what I saw. Nature also knows I am in love! :P
After all the sight seeing, we went to some strawberry garden where I did some go-karting, which was fun. People had some strawberry shake but me not being a fan of it, went for chocolate. From there we went to have lunch, had pizza and clicked few pics, it was cloudy. As soon as we got out, sat in car and started, the rain also started. The plan to Sherbaug was cancelled, so was the trip to Table Land. No problem, next time we will go there but travelling in rain at that place, its something one can not miss!
All the time I could hear adults talk everything but the place we are visiting and the beauty of it. They were talking the same thing again and again which made no sense. When they were kids, they never had problems with such things and now they are adults, there is ego, jealousy, selfishness and what not! I just hope I don't become any thing close to like that. I just hope I continue making friends and behave in the same way forever!
That's all, after that we came back home, to see there is power cut, power came and then went off again, it came again, again went and this happened frequently, just as frequently as sanjay salman gets behind the bars only to get out of it!
Wondering why the topic is "The 'missing' trip"? Well, its simple, guess what was missing? Guess Guess? Guess what was missing! give up? Well, it has to be a girl, in such a romantic place with damn romantic weather, you gotta have a girl with you! :P
I was told by my parents to get ready by 1.45 so that we all can leave around 2. I was pretty sure there is no way we will begin the journey by 3. So, I was as usual crapping on net when my father shouted at me and asked me to get ready else all will get late due to me. I said fine, I am getting ready and went off, I was ready by 1.30. I had lunch and around 1.45 I see not even a single species half ready!
Its 2 and I ask my mom, aren't we supposed to get out now and she says- "I am going to beauty parlour, we'll leave at 3". At this point I knew, its going to be 3.30. I came online again to crap more, stayed till 3, crapped around for half an hour roaming in the room and around 3.45 we were off. One thing that struck my mind is damn, I missed the sunset!
We, the three families reached Panchghani around 6.30 and went to Parsi point, every time I go there, I get to see something new and I wasn't disappointed this time also. Hell, I ain't talking about girls, I am talking about nature! This time the colour combinations made by the sun and clouds and the mountains, mesmerising, it was like a dream come true, thing I used to see in dreams were right in front of my eyes!
We could visit only one point as I made all of them late, oh wait, it was the aunts I guess, doing make up and all. After reaching hotel I said that I want to go to market. Last time I visited Mahabaleshwar market was probably in class 4. That time I said to myself- "This is where you should come for honeymoon". Well, things have changed a bit, its more crowded now and the beauty has been hit!
I knew going to market would make me frustrated but I couldn't control myself. I just had to go there, watch couples moving slowly with hand in hand. It hurts! Thank holy devil, there were 3 families, I could spend time alone whenever I wanted to without my parents bugging me! Played a bit in so called casinos, after winning some my father asked me to cash it, I said no, I am going to play will the last coin lasts and yeah, all coins used up! After playing and observing people walk hand in hand and looking at the cute new born kids, the future candidates to make me frustrated, we went back to hotel and had dinner.
Bed time, disaster is that my father booked only 2 rooms as only 2 families were supposed to come, the 3rd family made all the mess, in this season its impossible to get any room in any damn hotel with 10 times the cost! Solution- Extra bed, which is put on the ground and then- I had to sleep with 3 kids with an average age of 10. Call me paedophile, I care a damn! Meanwhile, when I was asking the adults to make noise as we have come for fun, a guy comes from behind and says "We aren't able to sleep, we're a couple so please don't make much noise". I was about t say "Yeah, just say you want to make love so you need to concentrate!" but had to cut that.
After I woke up, mom asked me to take a class 7 girl to the market as she wants to drink and eat something, wow, mom asking me to take a girl to a breakfast date! What the devil, that would make me a paedophile, if sleeping with 3 under age hasn't made me yet! Anyway, the plan was cancelled soon as people were in real hurry!
Now the journey begins, don't know how many points we went to, how many kms we had to walk and how much time I made the most of the cool breeze! One thing that I will remember forever is when I was at Elephant Head. I saw a fog getting formed and rising up, none except me and my father noticed it, when said to rest, they weren't interested! Such is their passion for sight seeing! I waited for it to rise high and at one stage, it became stable. By this time, rest started to leave, my father also started calling me. I said I will wait for some time, you guys start to walk. To my surprise, a part of the fog started to rise and damn, it made shape of heart! I took the picture, I just couldn't believe what I saw. Nature also knows I am in love! :P
After all the sight seeing, we went to some strawberry garden where I did some go-karting, which was fun. People had some strawberry shake but me not being a fan of it, went for chocolate. From there we went to have lunch, had pizza and clicked few pics, it was cloudy. As soon as we got out, sat in car and started, the rain also started. The plan to Sherbaug was cancelled, so was the trip to Table Land. No problem, next time we will go there but travelling in rain at that place, its something one can not miss!
All the time I could hear adults talk everything but the place we are visiting and the beauty of it. They were talking the same thing again and again which made no sense. When they were kids, they never had problems with such things and now they are adults, there is ego, jealousy, selfishness and what not! I just hope I don't become any thing close to like that. I just hope I continue making friends and behave in the same way forever!
That's all, after that we came back home, to see there is power cut, power came and then went off again, it came again, again went and this happened frequently, just as frequently as sanjay salman gets behind the bars only to get out of it!
Wondering why the topic is "The 'missing' trip"? Well, its simple, guess what was missing? Guess Guess? Guess what was missing! give up? Well, it has to be a girl, in such a romantic place with damn romantic weather, you gotta have a girl with you! :P
Monday, March 17, 2008
Fucked up shit
I lie in my bed
Thoughts running in my head
What the hell I am living for?
Answer to it is what I am craving for
Suicidal is what I become
When I get no answer in return
I know I ain't going to die
Before giving my life a last try
2.30 and mom drops in
Awake at this hour crapping?
Not to create a scene, I go to bed
Only to be mentally dead
I love nights, let me enjoy it
Discipline is something, follow it
What is discipline, who sets it?
Society does, you have to respect it
To hell with society
Which gives me anxiety
Let me be free, reach for the sky
Like the bird, flying high
Studies is not my priority
Nor is the 8 to 8 job
For I know
My life is short
This is what I write
When mind is full of sprite
Later when I read it
I call myself a fucked up shit!
Thoughts running in my head
What the hell I am living for?
Answer to it is what I am craving for
Suicidal is what I become
When I get no answer in return
I know I ain't going to die
Before giving my life a last try
2.30 and mom drops in
Awake at this hour crapping?
Not to create a scene, I go to bed
Only to be mentally dead
I love nights, let me enjoy it
Discipline is something, follow it
What is discipline, who sets it?
Society does, you have to respect it
To hell with society
Which gives me anxiety
Let me be free, reach for the sky
Like the bird, flying high
Studies is not my priority
Nor is the 8 to 8 job
For I know
My life is short
This is what I write
When mind is full of sprite
Later when I read it
I call myself a fucked up shit!
This is my 1st attempt at poetry!
I thank Varun and KJ for helping me write the above piece of crap!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
She killed me
She came, she conquered and she left. Damn, it was such a wonderful time. I don't know how am I going to express my feelings, errr... perverted feelings!
First let me introduce you to my bhabhi! She is damn beautiful, first time I saw her was in Kolkata and I was speechless. My brother(yeah the guy is like my brother) married to such a damn beautiful lady. I was dead. I had no words. I didn't have the guts to face her, I mean how can I even speak, she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met!
But then, they moved to Pune, rarely saw her for few years. We shifted to Pune and they shifted to Kolkata, damn! Why such injustice? But then good news, they shifted to Pune last year which meant I could see her. Yeah call me a pervert for this but I guarantee you that almost all men have similar feelings, its just that I confess a lot!
Coming back to topic, they visited our house last year for just an hour, not enough but then I was numb. I could only say yes/no to her questions, I was just blank. Mother of a kid and still she looked awesomely beautiful. Any guy would go blank in front of her! Let me tell you one thing, she is no Katrina Kaif type, she is not artificial. My choice of girls is pretty different from what guys generally like! So yeah, she is different, you might not like her but she definitely kills me! And her nature, character, behaviour 10/10. She is such a nice person.
After 2 months I got a chance to meet her once again but wasted it, there was a Man Utd game so didn't visit their house! Call me an idiot or whatever, I care least!
Today, well I was prepared, I said to myself, just face her, she isn't going to kill a dead guy! I did it, I talked to her freely but then she frustrated me. My mom told me to take them to the terrace and I did. The couples were roaming around and discussing things, I was just left there, watching them talk and from inside I was so damn frustrated.
Then we came down and she went into kitchen to help my mom, I said why not I also help my mom and then I spent some time in the kitchen, talking to her, it was such a great moment, I didn't fumble at all, yes I could not look at her eyes continuously and talk but sometimes I did. What an achievement! I am speechless at this moment. I don't know how to describe how big it meant for me.
When she was leaving, she said bye to me and man o man, I felt like I am losing someone! Then she asked me to visit once and I said definitely. She is gone now and I am here blabbering something! On a serious note, I don't have any malicious intention, its just that she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and I am extremely fortunate to be related to the lady in some way!
Adora- You can kick me for all this! :P (as if you care)
First let me introduce you to my bhabhi! She is damn beautiful, first time I saw her was in Kolkata and I was speechless. My brother(yeah the guy is like my brother) married to such a damn beautiful lady. I was dead. I had no words. I didn't have the guts to face her, I mean how can I even speak, she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met!
But then, they moved to Pune, rarely saw her for few years. We shifted to Pune and they shifted to Kolkata, damn! Why such injustice? But then good news, they shifted to Pune last year which meant I could see her. Yeah call me a pervert for this but I guarantee you that almost all men have similar feelings, its just that I confess a lot!
Coming back to topic, they visited our house last year for just an hour, not enough but then I was numb. I could only say yes/no to her questions, I was just blank. Mother of a kid and still she looked awesomely beautiful. Any guy would go blank in front of her! Let me tell you one thing, she is no Katrina Kaif type, she is not artificial. My choice of girls is pretty different from what guys generally like! So yeah, she is different, you might not like her but she definitely kills me! And her nature, character, behaviour 10/10. She is such a nice person.
After 2 months I got a chance to meet her once again but wasted it, there was a Man Utd game so didn't visit their house! Call me an idiot or whatever, I care least!
Today, well I was prepared, I said to myself, just face her, she isn't going to kill a dead guy! I did it, I talked to her freely but then she frustrated me. My mom told me to take them to the terrace and I did. The couples were roaming around and discussing things, I was just left there, watching them talk and from inside I was so damn frustrated.
Then we came down and she went into kitchen to help my mom, I said why not I also help my mom and then I spent some time in the kitchen, talking to her, it was such a great moment, I didn't fumble at all, yes I could not look at her eyes continuously and talk but sometimes I did. What an achievement! I am speechless at this moment. I don't know how to describe how big it meant for me.
When she was leaving, she said bye to me and man o man, I felt like I am losing someone! Then she asked me to visit once and I said definitely. She is gone now and I am here blabbering something! On a serious note, I don't have any malicious intention, its just that she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and I am extremely fortunate to be related to the lady in some way!
Adora- You can kick me for all this! :P (as if you care)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Endless thoughts
This is going to be long, boring, frustrated, maybe thought provoking and has the potential to make anyone suicidal. So, read at your own risk! One thing for sure, you won't find a confused guy ever like me! You're free to call me a psychopath also, guess that would be the right word for me!
The thing I think about the most is future, what am I going to do? What will I be? After getting the possible answers, I don't feel like living, I feel like being a kid. As I write, I feel like spending time with kids in some orphanage would be an ideal thing for me. Now I am blank! I really don't want to become something I dislike to become but society has so much influence on a person's mind that even the strong willed people get drowned!
You might say that I am trying to run away from responsibility, well yes I am to a good extent! When I say responsibility, it means working half the day in office and leaving 1/6th of the day for your family and the rest for your dreams! My life is not that. I would spend most of the time on something that I love. I would love to spend half of the time with my family and 1/6th of the time in a job.
Look at me, did I just talk about family. Damn, I speak lot of crap! When I started writing this blog, I had in mind that I am never going to get married and now, just now I was talking about marriage. I am blank again, waiting for something to come in my mind so that I can resume my blabbering.
Yeah, I said I want to be kid all my life but if I don't do any job, it would mean I won't have money and this is where the suicidal tendencies in me comes from. Believe me, its a damn good feeling! I also have an idea about the age I will probably commit suicide, it must be around 25, maybe earlier than that, I don't know. As of now I don't see any possible way to cross 25.
You might say what happened to Old Trafford dream, guess its over. I love Man Utd and the love won't change if I visit Old Trafford or not. Yeah it will be great if I do, not sure if that will be pleasure or happiness but the thought of me being at Streetford End doesn't excite me much as much as it excites me when I see Utd play on T.V. Hypothetical scenario, can't say anything until and unless I am there!
Another thought that rules is what will happen after my death? There are very few people in the whole world who will be affected by my death, I can count them. I am sure they will be sad and broken, but that doesn't stop my suicidal tendencies! I know it won't affect 'me' in any way, I would be dust without feelings after death. I don't feel like living for them either, don't know why! As far as my nephew is concerned, he is young, it won't make any difference to him. I might make a difference to his life but somewhere I guess I am a selfish brat!
This part I am writing after 2 days and damn, I ain't a bit selfish now, its like I am not living for myself, I am like living for others, to help others and to make others happy, to give others company, doesn't matter if that means me getting screwed up! Ahhhh..... I just hope I remain same forever!
Today morning my mom said me when I woke up around 11 that we are going out for lunch. I wasn't in any mood to go out after what she did to me last night! Around 12 I cried, yeah after many months the tears actually came out! A little later I said fine, lets go. I have no idea why I did that! I had lunch and came back home, no complaints what so ever from my side!
I should end here with some positivity. Good thing is that I have stopped thinking, I have found a reason to live or should I say few reasons? Well yeah, you guys top the list, its for your guys reading this and also all the friends I have that I am living. I am living for my nephew and nieces also. Maybe someday, I will live for myself, waiting for that day to come. It will come, it will be the day I errr.... used that word lot of times so you can guess it!
I just finished writing a meaningless, frustrated and incomplete blog!
The thing I think about the most is future, what am I going to do? What will I be? After getting the possible answers, I don't feel like living, I feel like being a kid. As I write, I feel like spending time with kids in some orphanage would be an ideal thing for me. Now I am blank! I really don't want to become something I dislike to become but society has so much influence on a person's mind that even the strong willed people get drowned!
You might say that I am trying to run away from responsibility, well yes I am to a good extent! When I say responsibility, it means working half the day in office and leaving 1/6th of the day for your family and the rest for your dreams! My life is not that. I would spend most of the time on something that I love. I would love to spend half of the time with my family and 1/6th of the time in a job.
Look at me, did I just talk about family. Damn, I speak lot of crap! When I started writing this blog, I had in mind that I am never going to get married and now, just now I was talking about marriage. I am blank again, waiting for something to come in my mind so that I can resume my blabbering.
Yeah, I said I want to be kid all my life but if I don't do any job, it would mean I won't have money and this is where the suicidal tendencies in me comes from. Believe me, its a damn good feeling! I also have an idea about the age I will probably commit suicide, it must be around 25, maybe earlier than that, I don't know. As of now I don't see any possible way to cross 25.
You might say what happened to Old Trafford dream, guess its over. I love Man Utd and the love won't change if I visit Old Trafford or not. Yeah it will be great if I do, not sure if that will be pleasure or happiness but the thought of me being at Streetford End doesn't excite me much as much as it excites me when I see Utd play on T.V. Hypothetical scenario, can't say anything until and unless I am there!
Another thought that rules is what will happen after my death? There are very few people in the whole world who will be affected by my death, I can count them. I am sure they will be sad and broken, but that doesn't stop my suicidal tendencies! I know it won't affect 'me' in any way, I would be dust without feelings after death. I don't feel like living for them either, don't know why! As far as my nephew is concerned, he is young, it won't make any difference to him. I might make a difference to his life but somewhere I guess I am a selfish brat!
This part I am writing after 2 days and damn, I ain't a bit selfish now, its like I am not living for myself, I am like living for others, to help others and to make others happy, to give others company, doesn't matter if that means me getting screwed up! Ahhhh..... I just hope I remain same forever!
Today morning my mom said me when I woke up around 11 that we are going out for lunch. I wasn't in any mood to go out after what she did to me last night! Around 12 I cried, yeah after many months the tears actually came out! A little later I said fine, lets go. I have no idea why I did that! I had lunch and came back home, no complaints what so ever from my side!
I should end here with some positivity. Good thing is that I have stopped thinking, I have found a reason to live or should I say few reasons? Well yeah, you guys top the list, its for your guys reading this and also all the friends I have that I am living. I am living for my nephew and nieces also. Maybe someday, I will live for myself, waiting for that day to come. It will come, it will be the day I errr.... used that word lot of times so you can guess it!
I just finished writing a meaningless, frustrated and incomplete blog!
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